princessskittybot:

new aesthetic: cryptidcore

  • kitschy t shirts and keychains from souvenir shops depicting the local urban legends and monsters
  • glow in the dark stuff and generic alien themed stuff
  • tin foil hats
  • muffled x files, gravity falls, and twilight zone theme songs playing in the distance
  • staring into the night sky and wondering if we’re alone
  • lots of pictures of the woods and abandoned houses

(Source: autistichatchworth)


harmonicpandemonium:

gateaugrimoire:

MY GIRL COURTNEY!!!!!!!

FUCK YEAH.
All this hate on Courtney. like wtf.

Courtney is literally perfect and if you don’t think so you have bad taste



MY GIRL COURTNEY!!!!!!!


xkcds:

I’d like to find a corpus of writing from children in a non-self-selected sample (e.g. handwritten letters to the president from everyone in the same teacher’s 7th grade class every year)—and score the kids today versus the kids 20 years ago on various objective measures of writing quality. I’ve heard the idea that exposure to all this amateur peer practice is hurting us, but I’d bet on the generation that conducts the bulk of their social lives via the written word over the generation that occasionally wrote book reports and letters to grandma once a year, any day.
Writing Skills [explained]

xkcds:

I’d like to find a corpus of writing from children in a non-self-selected sample (e.g. handwritten letters to the president from everyone in the same teacher’s 7th grade class every year)—and score the kids today versus the kids 20 years ago on various objective measures of writing quality. I’ve heard the idea that exposure to all this amateur peer practice is hurting us, but I’d bet on the generation that conducts the bulk of their social lives via the written word over the generation that occasionally wrote book reports and letters to grandma once a year, any day.

Writing Skills [explained]


xenodile:

cityapproves:

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lx5d86h7T31qbc1r8.jpg

are you finished with that anime yet?

image

NO I HAVE NOT FINISHED THAT ANIME AND I NEVER WILL!


"Yeah I can flambé… but I don’t NEED to."


nonbinaryeldritchhorror:

hauriret:

based off this text post because its adorable

look at how cute this is


Aww yeah my girl Courtney

Gordon’s heartbroken tone of disappointment when he read the results, tho


Imagine MasterChef pressure tests with Yakety Sax in the background


(Source: autumnclock)



Souichi Presents: Oh Buzz Off

souichipresents:

As surely as a Jack O Lantern never gets taken off the porch until a day before thanksgiving, It’s Sunday once more, and time for- Souichi Presents! This is Souichi, your second person narrative persona device, bringing you his once weekly humorous and inquisitive review of all things Junji Ito! And this week we return TO-

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Uzumaki! The story of a tiny little nowhere town, in the base of the mountains, on the sea. Did any of you grow up in a small, isolated, rural town? It can feel like you exist somewhere apart from the rest of society… and small town problems can seem to get so very large. But this town has more then it’s usual share of problems… problems to do with *spirals*. 

The hero of our story is a young girl named Kirie, a practical, kind, determined girl who hasn’t let the unfolding surreal, horrible events in the town, and really bad survival rate of friends put down her sense of compassion and generally surprisingly iron will. Luckily she isn’t alone- she’s accompanied by her boyfriend, Shuichi, a boy who has been traumatized badly by the opening salvo of the towns horrible happenings in the form of losing his mother and father. But he has proven ready to come to the rescue of Kirie with shocking practicality, and complete faith in Kirie and her experiences. 

We return now to our dark little spiral tale with… 

Chapter 10, Mosquitos

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As always, Souichi urges his audience to consider buying the official english publication of Uzumaki! Not only would doing so help to support Mr. Ito, but it might influence the official english translations of more niche comics like Uzumaki into english! As well, the art quality of the official translation is far superior, and the reading format has been returned to its original state, unlike the online version, which is flipped to be read from left to right. 

With that said, click the link to read along with or ahead of Souichi by using the online edition (Because Souichi knows how it is).

Read More

This is one of, if not my favorite, chapter in Uzumaki and as always it’s reviewed to perfection.


lesserjoke:

It’s finally December. Good Omens fans gather expectantly around their radios and streaming devices. The audio begins to play. There is no radio drama. The whole thing is just a Best of Queen album.


artifactrix:

sorcyress:

silentstep:

therobotmonster:

moniquill:

siderealsandman:

friendlytroll:

prokopetz:

mikhailvladimirovich:

bogleech:

It’s funny how science fiction universes so often treat humans as a boring, default everyman species or even the weakest and dumbest.

I want to see a sci fi universe where we’re actually considered one of the more hideous and terrifying species.

How do we know our saliva and skin oils wouldn’t be ultra-corrosive to most other sapient races? What if we actually have the strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kill the inhabitants of other worlds just by screaming at them? What if most sentient life in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and lives in fear of us rare “animal” races who can move so quickly and chew shit up with our teeth?

Like that old story “they’re made of meat,” only we’re scarier.

HOLY SHIT THEY EAT CAPSAICIN FOR FUN

YOU GUYS I HEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN AIRPLANE.

A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN AFTER YOU SHOOT IT

humans are a proud warrior race with a pantheon of bloody gods: Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc.

REMOVING A LIMB WILL NOT FATALLY INCAPACITATE HUMANS: ALWAYS DESTROY THE HEAD.

WARNING: HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE

WARNING: HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR. DESTROY INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY

THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW MUSCLES.

HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS

WARNING: HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE IMPROVISED WEAPONS. SEE CLASSIFIED DATA LABELED J. CHAN.

HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BODY. DO NOT INHALE

OH GOD THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR HANDLES OH GOD OH GOD

More seriously, humans do have a number of advantages even among Terrestrial life. Our endurance, shock resistance, and ability to recover from injury is absurdly high compared to almost any other animal. We often use the phrase “healthy as a horse” to connote heartiness - but compared to a human, a horse is as fragile as spun glass. There’s mounting evidence that our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by following it at a walking pace, without sleep or rest, until it died of exhaustion; it’s called pursuit predation. Basically, we’re the Terminator.

(The only other animal that can sort of keep up with us? Dogs. That’s why we use them for hunting. And even then, it’s only “sort of”.)

Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient life did not evolve from hyper-specialised pursuit predators:

  • Our strength and speed is nothing to write home about, but we don’t need to overpower or outrun you. We just need to outlast you - and by any other species’ standards, we just plain don’t get tired.
  • Where a simple broken leg will cause most species to go into shock and die, we can recover from virtually any injury that’s not immediately fatal. Even traumatic dismemberment isn’t necessarily a career-ending injury for a human.
  • We heal from injuries with extreme rapidity, recovering in weeks from wounds that would take others months or years to heal. The results aren’t pretty - humans have hyperactive scar tissue, among our other survival-oriented traits - but they’re highly functional.
  • Speaking of scarring, look at our medical science. We developed surgery centuries before developing even the most rudimentary anesthetics or life support. In extermis, humans have been known to perform surgery on themselves - and survive. Thanks to our extreme heartiness, we regard as routine medical procedures what most other species would regard as inventive forms of murder. We even perform radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic reasons.

In essence, we’d be Space Orcs.

Our jaws have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a way to WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN OUR JAW to restructure over the course of years to fit them back into shape, and then we continue to wear metal in out mouths to keep them in place. 

We formed cohabitative relationships with tiny mammals and insects we keep at bay from bothering us by death, often using little analouge traps. 

And by god, we will eat anything. 

  • We use borderline toxic peppers to season our food. 
  • We expose ourselves to potentially lethal solar radiation in the pursuit of darkening our skin. 
  • We risk hearing loss for the opportunity to see our favorite musicians live. 
  • We have a game where two people get into an enclosed area and hit each other until time runs out/one of them pass out
  • We willingly jump out of planes with only a flimsy piece of cloth to prevent us from splattering against the ground. 
  • Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buildings in the exact same places. 
  • We climb mountains and risk freezing to death for bragging rights
  • We invented dogs. We took our one time predators and completely domesticated them. 
  • On a planet full of lions, tigers and bears, we managed to advance further and faster than any other species on the planet. 

Klingons and Krogan and Orcs ain’t got shit on us

We drink ethanol (in concentrations high enough to be used as an effective as microbicide or a solvent!) for the express purpose of achieving blood toxicity and disrupting normal brain function… AS A RECREATIONAL ACTIVITY!

On the same subject, we also deliberately incinerate assorted substances and then inhale the particulate-heavy smoke and vapor resulting for the same effect. EVEN IN THE FACE OF SAID SUBSTANCES BEING CARCINOGENIC, BECAUSE WE JUST DON’T GIVE A FUCK.

Humans do not have biological castes. Kill their commander and another will take its place. Soldiers left alone on a planet will start farming and manufacturing to survive. Farmers and manufacturers will take up arms and kill you if pressed. Just because two humans look different doesn’t mean they cannot do each other’s jobs.

Breeding does not kill them. A single human can mate dozens or hundreds of times in a lifetime. They often do so as recreation. Xenobiology team six believes they do not have a mating season but this is too strange to be true.

Their appendages are not designed for hitting, so they developed special training to make them very good at hitting anyhow. 

The proteins making up their bodies are toxic and cause prion disease. Do not touch anything humans have touched. Do not consume earth foods. Fire does not adequately remove this contamination.

Humans perceive sixteen times the colors we do. Do not hide in bushes or vines from humans. They can distinguish your pelt from the foliage with ease.

We tried venting waste gas into the tunnels to kill the humans when they attacked. Turns out they breathe it. 

Everything on their planet came from a single biological strain. They developed comprehensive genetics BEFORE they developed space travel. 

They lack radio receptors and cannot be brought into compliance with right-thought simply by broadcasting to them. Even after we learned how to translate it into sound-waves one of their hatchlings drove the Great Authority mad by responding to every demand with a single question: “Why?”

#an individual human being is actually a microbiome in its own right—you are dealing with a legion each time you approach them     #they carry pathological agents inside their deep tissues and this is advantageous to their health     #one of the most widespread and resilient viruses on their planet is treated as mildly hazardous—even though it causes     #massive disruption to the body’s homeostasis     #(their young offspring endure multiple rhinovirus infections EACH YEAR yet they seem unperturbed by this)     #they have developed such long lifespans that now their primary threat is their own body’s degeneration     #humanity has literally figured out how to survive so long that their body gives out under them     #and they are not satisfied with that     #stupid willful vengeful survivalists who treat mortality like a challenge    

I love every single variation on this post, whenever it scrolls across my dash. 

Although bipedal and nominally terrestrial, humans are also capable of highly efficient climbing, brachiation, and swimming without mechanical or technological assistance.

In times of plenty, humans will ingest surplus food and metabolize it into a form of stored nutrition which permeates their tissues and forms a protective, thermally insulating layer under their skin.  Even a human with minimal ‘fat’ reserves can go for several Terran days without appreciable food intake.

Humans are highly neuroplastic, and retain the ability to learn throughout their life cycle.  Indeed, geriatric humans rely increasingly on the synthesis and application of their accumulated knowledge as their physical condition declines.

The human olfactory system is notoriously insensitive, and scents which may incapacitate other species have no appreciable effect on them.

Humans are effectively psy-null.  They possess no psionic abilities of their own, and attempts at one-way psionic contact have resulted in severe trauma to researchers due to the alien structure of human minds.

The human skeleton is composed of a hard, resilient mineral-biological composite.  This renders them capable of withstanding heavy loads and impacts, and of delivering devastating blows with all extremities.  Although somewhat brittle, the stone-based tissue of human bone retains the ability to heal when injured.